Mental Health
July 20, 2022
For some young men, adulthood can seem intimidating, especially as they gain more freedom from parents and educators. Maybe they can’t hold a job or they avoid responsibilities altogether. While this may seem like defiance, it can actually come from a place of fear or defeat. Failure to launch interventions are designed to help your young adult son find their independence and live a successful life on their own.
It’s not always easy to know when a young adult is going through a tough time versus when they’re truly stuck in what’s called failure to launch. The term refers to struggling with the transition into independent adulthood.
One term that you may often hear in this conversation is NEET (Not in Education, Employment, or Training). While NEET describes young adults who aren’t moving forward in school or work for at least six months, it doesn’t necessarily mean that someone has failed to launch. Some young people step out of school or work temporarily while they regroup, recover from mental health issues, or explore their options. However, when NEET status continues on without progress, research shows it can increase risks for unemployment, criminal behavior, and suicide.
Signs that your young adult might need more structured support include:
Therapy can be beneficial in helping young adults who have failed to launch. Individual counseling is often cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, which can address underlying anxiety or depression that can keep someone from taking steps toward independence. CBT teaches problem-solving skills as well as coping strategies to conquer adult situations that may be nerve-wracking or stressful.
15% of parents caring for an adult child with failure to launch describe their burden as equal to caring for someone with a chronic physical illness. Many parents feel shame, guilt, or may even blame themselves for their child’s setbacks.
Family therapy or family-focused interventions teach parents how to:
Multi-family groups and psychoeducation also give parents and young adults the chance to connect with others facing the same situation.
One model used in family therapy is SPACE-FTL (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions-Failure to Launch), which is comprised of five strategies:
SPACE-FTL helps parents set consistent boundaries and reduce enabling behaviors that are keeping their young adult stuck.
Young adults may benefit from tools that strengthen emotional regulation. Mindfulness practices teach them how to manage stress and tolerate distress instead of spiraling into an avoidance pattern.
Research suggests mindfulness may also support cognitive health by helping young adults sharpen their focus, sleep better, and lower anxiety. Some techniques include:
Some young adults in failure to launch don’t have the skills they need to handle adult life. When executive function skills like planning, organizing, and problem-solving are underdeveloped, young adults may feel overwhelmed when completing everyday tasks. This may cause them to give up before they begin their launch into adulthood.
Life skills training can help. These programs are offered one-on-one or in group settings, and as a standalone service or combined with mentoring or vocational training. Areas of focus include:
Participants in life skills training experience boosts in self-efficacy, which is their belief in their ability to achieve goals. This self-confidence makes it easier to take challenges head-on. They’re also better equipped to handle stress and bounce back from setbacks. These gains help young adults to engage with adulthood with greater competence and adaptability.
Finding meaningful work is one of the strongest predictors of adult well-being and recovery. Per a study of young adult men with co-existing mental health disorders and substance abuse, career development support helps build a sense of capability at work, which can often spill into other areas of life.
Career counseling and coaching can provide:
Another intervention for failure to launch is participation in independent living programs. These programs usually offer transitional housing where young adults can practice living on their own while still having oversight and support.
The process takes time. For example, participants may start with shared chores, then move to budgeting their own money, and eventually take on managing rent or a lease. Community-based living environments also provide:
Parents may feel torn between wanting to help and worrying they’re doing too much. It’s tough, but research shows that the way parents respond can influence whether their child stays stuck or gets back on track. Helpful strategies include:
The way parents communicate can also affect young adult children. Motivational interviewing is one technique that may be effective as it emphasizes collaboration and non-confrontational dialogue. For example, this could look like asking, “What do you think would work here?” when your child is faced with a problem versus saying, “You need to do this.” This helps build ownership and decision-making skills.
Additionally, when parents restrict independence too much, especially in adolescence, it predicts higher dependence later on. By contrast, giving young adults space to make choices and learn from mistakes teaches them accountability and resilience.
Change doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen with structure and accountability. That’s the focus at Ethos Recovery. Our sober living community is built specifically for young men who need a fresh start. We combine evidence-based therapy and peer support in an environment where growth is expected and independence is possible.
With Ethos Recovery, you have a team walking alongside you. If your son is struggling to find his footing in the world, reach out to our team today. We can help him start building the confidence and skills he needs.
New hope for adult children with ‘failure to launch’ syndrome - The Hospitalists