August 1, 2025

Helping Your Son with Mental Illness

Mental illness in young men is often misunderstood. If your son is struggling emotionally, behaving differently, or seems disconnected from his life, it can be hard to know how to help. Fortunately, helping your son with mental illness doesn’t have to be complicated.

Keep reading to learn about common mental health struggles men face, how to recognize the signs, and what you can do as a parent to support his recovery while maintaining healthy boundaries.

Common Types of Mental Illness in Young Men

Men can experience a range of mental health conditions; however, they often go undiagnosed due to stigma or a reluctance to get help. Below are some of the most common conditions men may struggle with:

Depression affects over 6 million men each year.
Anxiety disorders impact 14% of men.
Bipolar disorder is diagnosed in almost 3% of men.
Schizophrenia affects mostly men. 90% of cases are diagnosed by age 30.
Eating disorders affect 10% of men with anorexia or bulimia, and 35% with binge eating disorder.

Signs and Symptoms of a Mental Health Condition

Symptoms can vary depending on the diagnosis; however, there are common ones that may overlap across different disorders:

Isolating and pulling away from friends or family without explanation
Chronic headaches, stomach pain, or other physical complaint without a clear cause
Increased use of substances like alcohol, marijuana, or stimulants to cope or escape
Intense mood swings or outbursts of anger that seem out of proportion
Sleeping too little or too much
Reckless behaviors, like unsafe sex or skipping work, with little concern for consequences
Constant agitation, restlessness, or trouble focusing on basic tasks
Feelings of hopelessness, emptiness, or feeling like a burden
Talking about death or expressing a desire to disappear

How Can You Help Your Son with Mental Illness?

Watching your son struggle with his mental health can be difficult if you don’t fully understand what he’s going through. However, there are ways you can help your son so that he may be successful in his recovery.

Educate Yourself

Perhaps one of the best ways to support your son is by educating yourself on his mental health condition. This can help you respond with empathy instead of frustration.

Mental health education also helps reduce stigma. In fact, studies show that awareness can motivate individuals to seek support and be more open about their symptoms. This is especially important for men who tend to hide their feelings or avoid getting help because they feel it makes them “less of a man.”

Here are some ways you can educate yourself:

Read evidence-based articles from reputable sites and mental health organizations
Attend family psychoeducation sessions if they’re offered by your son’s treatment provider
Ask his care team questions and request resources appropriate for his condition
Watch documentaries or listen to podcasts that share lived experiences

Practice Effective Communication

Open and honest communication is an effective way to support your son through mental illness, but it has to be the right kind. Without meaning to, some parents default to giving unsolicited advice or tough love, which can make their child feel judged or misunderstood. Instead, create a safe space where he feels heard.

Here’s how you can communicate while encouraging connection and trust:

Practice active listening. Maintain eye contact, don’t interrupt, and let him finish before responding.
Ask open-ended questions that allow him to express himself in his own words.
Reflect back what you hear to show you understand.
Even if you don’t agree with his choices, validate your son’s emotions.
Avoid minimizing language like “everyone feels that way sometimes.”

Strong family communication has been shown to reduce stigma, encourage healthier coping behaviors, and improve treatment outcomes. The more your son sees you showing up for him without judgment, the more likely he is to let you in.

Establish Boundaries

Boundaries are needed for both sides of the relationship. They teach your son what’s acceptable while protecting your sanity and mental health.

Here’s what to keep in mind when establishing boundaries:

Be honest and direct about your limits.
Say no without feeling guilty.
Avoid enabling behaviors like bailing him out of consequences.
Communicate consequences for overstepping boundaries, and stick to them.
Lead by example.

Research shows that two-thirds of parents and adult children experience conflict in their relationships. Boundaries help reduce this tension and create a more stable and respectful environment for recovery.

Respect Independence

When young men are given the space to face challenges and make decisions for themselves, they start to develop the confidence and resilience they need to be independent outside of their parents. Here’s how you can support that process:

Encourage your son to take ownership of tasks and responsibilities.
Let him try and fail as this will build emotional maturity.
Reinforce that you believe in his ability to figure things out, even when it’s hard.
Teach essential life skills like budgeting, cooking, job searching, time management, and self-care.

Life skills programs have been shown to improve self-confidence, emotional regulation, and long-term well-being in teens and young adults. When he feels prepared to handle adult responsibilities, he’s more likely to handle them on his own.

Promote Healthy Lifestyle Habits

Lifestyle habits on their own can’t cure your son’s mental health, but they can help improve his mood, reduce anxiety, and support therapy and medication treatments. Here are a few habits that can support his mental health:

Regular exercise
Nutritious and balanced meals
Mindfulness and meditation
Breathwork or progressive muscle relaxation
Journaling or creative outlet

It’s also recommended to limit screen time, including social media, as this can reduce loneliness and depressive symptoms. One study found that college students who only used social media for 30 minutes a day reported lower levels of depression after just three weeks.

Take Care of Your Own Mental Health

Supporting a child through mental illness is emotionally demanding and isolating. As a parent, it’s easy to pour all of your energy into your child while neglecting your own needs. However, your well-being matters, too.

In fact, caregivers of family members with mental illness experience twice the psychological distress of the general population. They’re also more likely to have depression, anxiety, and sleep problems.

Here are some signs you might be experiencing caregiver burnout:

Constant fatigue
Irritability or feeling numb
Difficulty sleeping
Feeling hopeless, helpless, or resentful

To support your own mental health, consider:

Setting boundaries without guilt
Taking regular breaks to clear your head
Speaking with a therapist or counselor
Joining a support group for parents

Taking care of your mental health isn’t selfish. It’s necessary so that you can show up for your son with patience and compassion.

Helping vs. Enabling Your Son

Before you start helping your son with mental illness, it’s important to be able to tell the difference between helping him and enabling him. Helping empowers your son to gain skills, make decisions, and face consequences. Enabling protects him from discomfort, which reinforces avoidance, dependence, or unhealthy behaviors.

Examples of enabling might include:

Giving money without accountability
Making excuses for their behavior
Solving all their problems for them
Avoiding hard conversations to avoid confrontation

Healthy helping, on the other hand, looks like:

Setting clear and respectful boundaries
Holding them accountable for their choices
Encouraging professional help instead of being their only support
Letting them feel discomfort so they can learn to cope with it

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to step back so that your son can step up into a more independent role.

When to Get Mental Health Support for Your Son

Warning signs your son needs additional support for his mental health include isolation, sudden personality changes, substance use, violent outbursts, or withdrawal from school, work, or relationships. You don’t have to wait for a crisis. In fact, early intervention can prevent more serious issues later. If your gut is telling you something is off, you might want to listen.

At Ethos Recovery, we work with young men to build resilience and independence that will follow them long after their recovery. If you’re worried about your son, reach out to our mental health providers today.